9 wks

We are doing well. I had my first prenatal appt on 09-18-08. The litte one was measuring (is that right word) at about 7 wks 5 days. Dr L said that was very good and we got to hear the heart beat which was 158 beats per minute. Dr. L said that was excellent. I'm still having weekly acupuncture appts that I think has been helping me so much. I have had hard any morning sickness, and my fall allergies have been much much more bearable....I do feel bad for Norm. She has been getting pretty queasy on and off throughout the day. I've heard that the partners of a pregnant women can get PG symptoms but I never really believed that...I'm a believer now.
So far I've had sore boobs, lots of gas, and lots of feeling of bloated/fullness in my lower abdomen. And my clothes are starting to fit a little more snug.

Norm and I may have to pick a new OB dr. Dr. L is moving from the N. Austin office to the S. Austin office effective 11-01-08. She has told me that she'd love to keep seeing me. Norm and I love her so much. She's been such a huge part of me getting where I am today. My only concern is we leave in Hutto which is about 15 miles outside of N Austin. If I keep seeing Dr. Lockey it would take my about 50 minutes (w/out traffic) to get the S. Austin hospital she delivers at. I'm not sure if that's too far. Dr. L recommended a colleague of her's that I should see if i choose to keep in OB in the North side of town. She said he's very gay friendly, really down to earth, and well qualified (in fact he is the chief OB at the hospital he delivers at). Norm and I have three weeks to let her know...wish me luck...I'm trying not to stress about this but its really hard.

My next appt is 10-16-08. I am sending positive thoughts to everyone out there who is thinking of/ in the process of TTC's. Miracles do happen and will happen to you!

Blood work#2

I went to blood drawn Thursday, 08-28-08. C (Dr. L's nurse) called me Friday w/results. My HCG is 576 so has a little more than doubled since Monday. Dr. L wants me to continue the progesterone. I was scheduled for my first OB appt on 09-18-08. I'm excited and nervous.

I haven't had any spotting, but I have had slight cramps on and off. Tuesday was really worried b/c I a pain on my lower left side (front & back). I kept thinking ectopic. N..keeps telling me to stop thinking negative but I can't help it. I know that my age and weight can affect my chances of having a healthy baby. My left side was sore for three day. I emailed Dr. L...who called me and said that it's normal to have cramping and aches b/c of the changes my body is going though. She std that when I have my first ultrasound they will check for cysts on my ovaries b/c it can happen b/c of the clomid. Friday I'd didnt feel anything. Today, I awoke feeling very bloated and slight aches that come and go back on both sides. As I sit here typing I feel a slight soreness on the lower left of my back. Maybe it's in my head..but I hope it is nothing serious. Maybe these are signs of just being preggo.

Well Norm went to the work at the UT football game. She wanted me to go w/her but I told her I wanted to stay home to clearn house and watch a movie I rented. So I'm alone this afternoon. I feels nice.

Blood work#1

Went in Monday late afternoon to have my first blood work drawn. I left the office at 4:00 thinking I had til 5:00 to get there..(plenty of time I thought)..WRONG..Monday was first day back to school. Lovely summer traffic gone..cars were bumper to bumper. I called the Dr's office to find out what time lab closed..."4:30" I heard. Talk about freaking out, I knew there was no way I would get there in time. I called Norm's cell and told her I was stuck in traffic. Norm asked,"How far away are you". I replied, "About 30 mint." I suggested we meet at the PHO restaurant to have an early dinner and then call it a day. Norm yelled, "No way get you *ss here now." So, I put the pedal to the metal and zig zagged my way through traffic. I drove into the driveway of my DR's office at 4:27 pm. Norm was waiting at the front entrance for me. I stopped the car, jumped out, left the car running and ran inside. She had agreed to park the car. My doc's office is on the fourth floor. Luckily when hit the up button on the elevator doors opened immediately. I got off the elevator and ran to the docs office. The office clock said 4:27 (luck was definitely on my side). The front desk clerk was on the phone and she saw me gasping for air, pointing to the clock, mouthing the words "LAB". She didn't acknowledge me at first, but I kept pointing to the clock. Thank God she put the caller on hold, and asked "name...date of birth..who do you see...OK YOU'RE IN." I ran through the office doors to the lab.

My hands were shaking when I filled out the Lab sign-in sheet. The Lab tech saw me flushed and said "Don't worry, we're gonna see you". I let out a sigh of relief, got my blood drawn, and was out of there by 4:45 pm.

Dr. L called my this afternoon for the result:

<My progesterone is 27 (she said the was almost excellent) she wants me to still continue taking the supplement until at least I get the 2nd blood work results.
My HCG was 227 (since I have no test to compare..not sure if that's good yet).

I'm going back on Thursday for more blood work. I should know by Friday. Keeping positive that things will be fine.

IUI results

I POAS on my equate stick this am and saw a VERY faint line. So Norm and I went to the store and purchased the Clearblue Easy Digital test. I came home went straight to the bathroom. I read the instuction real quick and grabbed my cup. I counted 20 seconds on my watch set the stick down and began finishing up when I looked done and saw the result "Pregnant"...it didn't even take the full 3 minutes..I started YELLING for N to come to the room. When she came in I told her, "LOOK...I just barely laid the stick down...LOOK what is says!!" She looked and her eyes got so big...she then went to tell our kitty kids that the result said pregnant.

I'm a little in shock...my mind is racing a mile a minute...is this for reall..but I didn't have implantation spotting..is this a bad sign? I'm going to email Dr L and call her office tomorrow to get appt for bloodwork..I'm keeping positive that everything will be fine.

Thank you so much for the well wishes and postive thoughts...it means so much! :-)!

two days till poas

Two more days till we test....not sure what to expect.

The first week went by really quick. We have been really busy at work. I had the chance to work some OT. Working 10.5 hr a day was hard. I'd be soo tired when I'd get home. I have about a 1 hr commute to and from work everyday, but since I was going in earlier and staying later I saved about 30 min a day..that was nice. We will also enjoy the small bonus check next month. I think most of my symptoms were side effects of the progesterone (tired, bloated, gassy) i also felt twinges on both sides.

Beginning Sunday night I began to feel like I'm going to or have started my period. I've been cramping all week. I've checked so many times and nothing. (this is a symptom I've never had before) Starting Monday, I began waking up at 2:00 am and am unable to go back to sleep until 3:30 or 4:00 am. (New symptom) My breasts have been tender from the inside but not the outside (make sense). However today my breasts are really sensitive to the touch I don't even want to take my bra off. ...Could this mean something?

You know it may mean nothing...my boobies have always been sensitive so maybe the meds are just making them super sensitive.

My BBT's have been in the low/mid 98.00's. This am my temp jumped .1 degrees to 98.5.

I'm already making plans for our course of action next month...this may be jinxing but I want to let myself believe that my time is NOT running out....that the money isn't running out. The financial cost of this experience has been a topic of discussion (arguments) more times that I'd like to admit. Norm is the person who mainly manages our finances. She is so worried and doesn't want us going into serious debt. We haven't maxed out credit cards but I'm halfway there with at least one...I think the biggest thing that has been hard is getting used not having all the extra spending money we used to have...Before TTC, we'd go out to happy hour, stop by Target, or go away for the weekend whenever we wanted. On many occasions we would pick up the bill for dinner w/our best friend couple R and F. And during the holidays we'd always buy three to four gifts each for our nieces and nephews....not any more.

Norm loves taking weekend trips (even if its just the Nuevo Laredo or maybe New Orleans). We used to take long weekend trips to Nuevo Laredo and stay at a small hotel in the Mexico side. We'd get up early in morning have breakfast of huevos rancheros and head to the mercado to shop till we dropped. Then in the early afternoon and we'd walk to "our" cantina "LA MINA" (yum the cold TECATE's w/Lime were perfect) Norm would head to a few street vendors to buy tacos de al pastor or hotdogs w/jalepenos and tomate. We'd relax at La Mina drinking and listening to Paulina Rubio, Thalia, and the Vega boys on the juke box, talking to fellow tourists or locals long after the sun went down. It was so much fun. I know she misses our trips.

Now all our "extra" income is going to the baby initiative. Having a child is my dream. Norm loves me and supports me but she really is doing all this for me. She has said that she thinks she's too old to have a child, but if this is my dream, she's going to be right behind me, doing what ever she can. I love her so much but it breaks my heart to know she's misses our "old" life...

Tonight we met in town for "happy hour" (which for me means 1/2 price appetizer's not margaritas $2.00). At dinner she looked into my eyes and said, "I want a baby. I want us to have our baby and I can't wait for it to happen. We are going to keep trying until it happens."....I pray that it really does.

And TWW #3 begins

Woke up early this morning traveled into town to get 2nd insem this cycle.
I felt NO discomfort today. Yipee!! Our donor's count was 45 million w/50% motility..is that good?

Afterward we picked up my prescription for progesterone and came home. N's family came over for breakfast. We cooked Barbacoa last night in the slow cooker. We had tacos (corn tortillas) w/fresh guacamole and pico de gallo. And fresh fruit (watermelon and pineapple). Yum! I've read some blogs that mention eating fresh pineapple after insemination. Even though I'm not sure exactly how this helps I'm giving it a try. Only thing..I don't like how my lips and gum sting afterward. (ouch!). Company was great and everyone left about 1:30 p.m.
We haven't told anyone that we tried AGAIN this month...I just don't want to have to explain anything to anyone if it doesn't work...again.

After everybody left, N and I began to read the paper and watched some the the Olympics until we both fell asleep on the couch.

Watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics was so stunning and breathtaking...N and I were like kids at the circus...we kept oohing and ahhing at the amazing choreography and the lighting effects (too cool!). The different sequences one after the other were so incredible and just as I'd say out loud "This is my favorite performance." The next would begin and it'd be even better..If I had to choose the 2008 drummers sequence were my favorite...but the acrobats walking on the sphere were out of this world :-)! NBC too many commercials .....N and I were tearing up when Yao Ming walked w/the nine year old little boy who survived his school collapse in the earthquake. When I saw the boy I thought he can't be nine years old, look how tiny he is....then I thought...Oh wait he's walking next to Yao Ming...okay a full grown man would like nine year old next to Yao.....he is so TALL!!!

When I talked to D at acupuncture yesterday I mentioned how I cried when I heard the story of the nine year old boy saving himself and his two of his classmates and doing it because he was a hall monitor....D just said, "Well you know it was probably a lie." Chinese communist propaganda. Okay D, I accept your viewpoint but I believe and call me nieve...whatever..but i believe it was the truth....I do believe miracles can happen and with enough determination that sweet child was able to help himself and others. God bless that babe.

Well, here we are Sunday afternoon...tired and not looking forward to the work week. Norm just yelled,"Want some burnt popcorn w/kosher pickles!" I love that woman......

IUI# 3

Okay decided to give it another go....
Started Clomid (50mg) days 2 through 9. Went in for day 13 ultrasound (08-0708) and things looked okay (and mean okay).... I had three follies one left 20 mm, two right, 16 mm and 14 mm.....my lining was not as thick as it's been the past only at 9.5. So Dr. L put me on Estrogen for two days (one pill .626 mg twice a day)...Got the HCG shot 08-08-08 at 10 am...about 22 hrs later we did insemination #1 today (08-09-08). I was hoping that we'd inseminate on 08-08-08 (I need all the luck I can get). This one was the most uncomfortable so far....the pinching, clamping and poking sucked.....this month's bbt's have sucked just as bad...I'm been in the low 97's all week. Today was day 15 and my BBT this morning was 97.00. Not not mention, my CM was less this month....I finally noticed CM last night about 9 hrs after the HCG shot....(is that b/c of the shot?). Dr L said this morning that my CM looked fine...After she was done she left Norm and I in the office by ourselves....(She was on-call today and had to run back over to the hospital side to check on a patient)..it was pretty cool being in the office all alone...I joked w/N and asked if she wanted be my DR. ........(nothing happened but we had a good giggle about it)....


We will do our 2nd insemination tomorrow at 8:30......I'm excited...Dr L said that we may be having our procedure about the same time as another "girl couple"...so i guess pretending N's a DR is out the question for tomorrow (hee hee)......Once that's complete, I'll start the Progesterone (200 mg) that evening.

I mentioned to Dr L. that I'm worried about my ovulation. I've been using the OPK sticks a while now and have noticed a pattern.... I never really a have a strong LH surge. My ultrasounds have always shown good uterine lining and follies. But when exactly I ovulate has always been a mystery. I read how some women feel the ovulation. ...I've had pain in my ovaries usually a day after the HCG trigger.....this is ovulation pain? So I guess as long as I kept getting the trigger shot I should be okay? Dr. L is going to test my progesterone on CD 21 to check levels.

This is probably a good time to mention that Dr. L is my OB/GYN. (And I love her to death...she is so great and encouraging. She's always open to any questions/concerns I have..I'm so lucky to have her). But I'm not seeing a RE...we opted to go w/Dr. L b/c my primary care DR referred me to her...My primary care Dr had explained that Dr.L worked w/many same sex couples... N and I thought that seeing a RE would be too expensive, but as time goes by...I'm beginning to feel that maybe we should have found a RE before all this began.....I hate getting odd looks from the guys at TCRA when they ask so who's your Dr?....When I reply "Dr. L" I get the strange blank response of "Who's that?"......it makes me feel so stupid...like I don't know what I'm doing.......
.....the truth is I do feel like I don't know what I'm doing.....

Before we started TTC I read/heard stories about women who try try try and never get pregnant....and in the back of my mind i thought.."that's not me....I'll be okay."
Now IUI #3 ....I realize I'm not as exceptional as I thought.....
I wish I had loads of extra money lying around and didn't have to worry about how we going to pay for the next time...but i do...even now....I'm thinking "What about next month?"

This cycle is costing us a total of $1800.00 (not including medications).....I can't imagine how some couples pay this much and more every month.

one day at a time......one day at a time

Am I out?

Took July off.....to get my FSH retested (it was a 8) ((like that means anything)) and to have an HSG test done....(ALL CLEAR)....my GOD did that *itch hurt!!! :-( at the beginning of the month I thought that sitting July out would be a good idea. But now I'm worried maybe I wasted the time....and the best part I turned 39....Ugh!!!!!!! I've been reading blogs and I've read how so many have done the HSG, Acupunture, Prenatals, ETC and it made no difference....is this me.?......why do so many have to get so hurt? I HATE THIS!!!!!

Now i'm waiting for my TIA to come for visit. I hope she comes in the next couple of days...

I bummed..I'm so scared to try again...i keep thinking "You're old...it's too late....you're too fat..." I'd love to hear from someone whose been where I am and made it. I can't seem to find many that have made it and were what I am...Oh yes...."ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE"....

My heart is sad for those tonight whose hopes for a BFP didn't happen this month...You guys are beautiful....so sweet..and optimistic..it's gonna happen to you....

Results IUI #2

Peed on a Stick this morning and it was negative.I really hoped the result would be different. I had some symptoms this month that I thought could be signs. Spotted on Sunday. Sore breasts (not nipples), cramping, slight nausea. Last night and this morning I'm seeing pink when I wipe..I am assuming that my period is right around the corner. My luteal phase temps were higher this month, they remained above 98 degrees for the entire 13 day period. This morning my temp fell to 97.8. When I count out the days when I expect my period to begin, my CD13/14/15 could fall on weekend so I am worried about additional costs if we try IUI for July. ..

Norm is concerned that we will be "wasting money" she feels that we should have the HSG test before we go any further. What do you think?

I'm in a dilemma I have 7 more sessions of acupuncture, (my last week is the 2nd week of AUG) so i feel this may be the last month of my best chance of trying to conceive.

I'm going to talk to my acupuncturist to see what they suggest as well.

I'm stuck at fork in the road and not sure what path to take......not to mention I turn 39 in a 1 1/2 weeks... :-(

IUI #2

Had sonogram #2 on the CD13 (06-11-08). Sonogram tech. found two follies, one 22 mm and one 14 1/2 mm. (So the Clomid helped!) The nurse called my Dr. to let her know and it was decided that we would do IUI #2 on CD14. I was little nervous because I've never ovulated that early. Spoke w/Dr. L. who said everything would be fine. So I got my HCG shot. And went home. That afternoon/night and next morning I felt no discomfort like the month before. Dr. L said that was fine.

N and I decided to inseminate only once this month. I beginning to wonder if maybe that was a mistake...On CD 14 I went in for the IUI and left feeling okay. On CD 15 I felt miserable all day. I am almost sure I ovulated on CD 15, (i had aches on both sides of my ovaries and was sore all day) It was so tough. I'm thinking that the discomfort was worse because of the CLOMID. Dr. L said that frozen swimmers can live anywhere between 24 to 72 hours post IUI.. I hope they made it....looking back I think it would have been a good idea if we had opted for a 2nd insemination. Again I was trying to "budget" for next time. I wish the "how are we going to pay for this" didn't weigh on my mind so much. But it does....On a brighter note....our specimen motility was 40 million. Woohoo!

I've been taking progesterone since the IUI and my BBT's have increased. A good thing. I'm trying not to obsess so much about early preg signs....because I know that they could be side effects of the progesterone.
We'll see what happens.

It was a Trial Run....

At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself...BFN.. Yup that what it was...I didn't even have to POS....my period came on the 14th day, Friday 053008. (damn Tia Flo) It was so painful...I spent the whole weekend couped up inside. N and I decided to keep going so here we are June'08 preparing for another IUI. This time I'm on a five day RX of 50 mg Clomid. Side effects: Bloated, slight headache from time to time, and feeling a little blue. But it's weird I'm not all emotional (ball of tears) i just at time feel indifferent ...(is this a bad sign?).
We will be placing our 2nd order or frozen swimmers...praying we have a good cycle.
I cancelled my acupuncture appt for today..and I'm feeling guilty...I did it b/c i want to "save" the visit for later. I paid for 6months of acupuncture..and my 6th month expires in July. I'm freaking out that I'm not going to get pregnant before my acu time runs out..Cant go down that path...need to stay positive. ....that's right stay positive...

The weekend wasn't a total wash...spent weekend re-watching the 6 seasons of Sex in the City....wanna get them all watched before I see the Movie.
So I'm planning on finishing season five and six this weekend. Yippee!

Almost over....

Well, I'm scheduled to take the pregnancy test tomorrow. But I know the results will be BFN...my BBT's dropped like three days ago. Memorial Day was fantastic.. i woke up to the BIG 98.6....my day was fantastic!..I spent the day thinking maybe this could really be happening to me. But Tues my BBT fell to 97.8, Wed 97.7, and today Thurs, 97.4.....My friend Ivonne reminded me that this was like a "trial run". Fact remains that it still hurts. I emailed my doc to see when I can get off the progesterone so AF can come to visit. Our plans are to try again June and this time take clomid. I'm nervous because I'm not sure what to expect. Any advice on how to get through this?

Yesterday, I was feeling so upset and disappointed during my drive to work. I kept thinking, Why do I have to go to work and how am I going to put on my "happy face". Well I got to work early and had time to go on-line to read a couple of posts. I found this wonderful entry by someone also trying to conceive and reading it made me laugh. The post helped me through the day without balling my eyes out at work. My experience this month will only make me/us stronger for next time. ....Thank you Carrie.

TWW

Okay, I'm 1/2 way through two week wait. Trying not to read too much into my symptoms is next to impossible. N keeps telling me to stop b/c I'm gonna stress myself out. She's right, but easier said than done. I'm taking a progesterone supplement, taking a pre-natal vitamin, and keeping up w/acupuncture (my wonderful stress reliever).

The beginning of Week 1 was tough, my side effects from the progesterone were tough...got tired,nauseous, bloating, dizzy, moody, ... I felt really bad. Also throughout the week I felt a lot of minor aches about my ovaries area. Especially the left side. Now, when I had my sonogram before the IUI, my left ovary was so small the nurse didn't even bother measuring it..so I'm not sure why it ached so much? But my symptoms cleared up by Friday. As of now I'm mainly very bloated. My BBT's right after the IUI jumped from 97.5/97.7 to 98.1. But they have stayed steady ranging from 98.0 to 98.2..This morning my BBT increased to 98.3...I hope that's a sign...and they continue to go up.

(Warning..next part mentions bodily functions... please I don't want to offend anyone...but it's an out the ordinary symptom).

Last night N, N's family and I went to a festival in Round Rock to see hear some Tejano music! For lunch I had Greek (lamb gyro, hummus and dolma's) Yummy!!!! After lunch I got bad heartburn and gas (Since starting acupuncture and altering my diet I haven't had heartburn like that in a long long while.). I went home, took a nap, and hoped that I would feel better by the evening. We arrived at the festival about 8:00 pm and picked a nice spot not too close to the stage to set up our chairs. Everyone (except me) gets beer and something to eat. I'm worried about my heartburn so opt to wait to eat. I got my water, sat down and felt myself wanting to toot...I freak out because I'm worried that there will be an unpleasant smell. So I slowing try to let one out but of course I'm GASSY so I chorus some out...I look around and ...NO REACTION from anyone (either in my group or people sitting near by). Everyone is still having a good time. I lean over and ask N, "Did you smell anything?" She replies, "No...why?"....I then whisper, "I'm gassy." She looks at me weird and says, "Don't worry about it"...So the whole night as everyone enjoyed the music and food...I enjoyed myself to water and much needed "relief"...and no one noticed :-) ......thank goodness it was not smelly...

About Me

Let's see where to begin.

Who am I?

I am 38 living in the suburbs outside Austin And for the past 5 1/2 years I've been sharing my life with wonderful person (Norma). We were friends before we got involved. (You know the usual Telenovela drama, I was with someone and she was with someone when we met). But when it was all said and done, we found each other and have been together every single day since. I can't believe I've been blessed enough to find someone who loves me for me. As a kid, I used to dream about finding love and having a family. Well the LOVE part FINALLY came along when I was 33. However, the family part has taken longer than I ever thought it would.

Norm and I have been talking about having a baby since the first month of our relationship. But we got more serious about 10 months ago. That's when i made the appt w/my gyno to get the FSH test and info on artificial insemination. I started charting my BBTs, and noticed my temps were super extreme. A great friend of mine (who is now pregnant after having a pretty tough time of her own) encouraged me to consider Acupuncture treatment for help.

In February 2008 I began a 6 month acupuncture treatment with The Texas Center for Reproductive Acupuncture. The Acupuncture program included twice a week visits for the first three months. And weekly visits beginning the 4th month. TCRA has helped w/nutritional counseling, daily herbs and vitamins. I also started exercising. I can't even tell you how amazing it has been. Every one at the TCRA are fantastic and sososo supportive. I'm sure you can tell by my photo that I'm a full figured women. Acupuncture has helped me better my daily habits (on eating, exercising, handling stress) all with the intent to improve my health and to improve my BBT's. Since starting acupuncture I've lost about 16 lbs!. My follicular phase temps are right on...the luteal phase temps have improved but still need some work.

We'll May 08 we felt we were ready to try our first IUI. We are using a anonymous sperm donor from the Cali cyrobank. On May 15th and 16th we had our first IUI's. Day 1 of the IUI was a lot more "uncomfortable" I had a little bit of bleeding during the procedure and felt a little bit of aching afterwords. Day 2 of the IUI was fantastic (NO discomfort). OUR donor sperm count was 74 million! I really hope that everything works out this month. (BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET MY HOPES UP) I did not use any meds during the follicular phase. But I did get a HCG shot day before the IUI. And I'm taking a progesterone supplement now.

We considered a fresh donor, but for now, we think a donor from the cryobank is best. (No worries about all the legal stuff).

Why I created a blog?

Well, Norm pushed me to finally do this. I have never blogged or done anything like this. I have been reading so many blogs by other women (straight/gay/married/single) for the last months (BELIEVE ME NORM can vouch for me....every night at about 10:00 pm i hear her yelling for me from across the house to "COME TO BED....YOU HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW" or else I hear "YOU ON THE COMPUTER AGAIN"). You all have helped me feel like I'm not alone. And you've also helped educate me on what to do/expect/ask in this process of trying to conceive the precious gift of a son or daughter. I do not have many friends or family that I can talk to about the process/challenges of TTC. I admire you all so much. You all are the most courageous people I ever had the chance to "get to know". By sharing your lives in this format, you are all making a difference in some one's life. You have made a difference to me. What you share is truly a selfless gift. Thank you.