two days till poas

Two more days till we test....not sure what to expect.

The first week went by really quick. We have been really busy at work. I had the chance to work some OT. Working 10.5 hr a day was hard. I'd be soo tired when I'd get home. I have about a 1 hr commute to and from work everyday, but since I was going in earlier and staying later I saved about 30 min a day..that was nice. We will also enjoy the small bonus check next month. I think most of my symptoms were side effects of the progesterone (tired, bloated, gassy) i also felt twinges on both sides.

Beginning Sunday night I began to feel like I'm going to or have started my period. I've been cramping all week. I've checked so many times and nothing. (this is a symptom I've never had before) Starting Monday, I began waking up at 2:00 am and am unable to go back to sleep until 3:30 or 4:00 am. (New symptom) My breasts have been tender from the inside but not the outside (make sense). However today my breasts are really sensitive to the touch I don't even want to take my bra off. ...Could this mean something?

You know it may mean nothing...my boobies have always been sensitive so maybe the meds are just making them super sensitive.

My BBT's have been in the low/mid 98.00's. This am my temp jumped .1 degrees to 98.5.

I'm already making plans for our course of action next month...this may be jinxing but I want to let myself believe that my time is NOT running out....that the money isn't running out. The financial cost of this experience has been a topic of discussion (arguments) more times that I'd like to admit. Norm is the person who mainly manages our finances. She is so worried and doesn't want us going into serious debt. We haven't maxed out credit cards but I'm halfway there with at least one...I think the biggest thing that has been hard is getting used not having all the extra spending money we used to have...Before TTC, we'd go out to happy hour, stop by Target, or go away for the weekend whenever we wanted. On many occasions we would pick up the bill for dinner w/our best friend couple R and F. And during the holidays we'd always buy three to four gifts each for our nieces and nephews....not any more.

Norm loves taking weekend trips (even if its just the Nuevo Laredo or maybe New Orleans). We used to take long weekend trips to Nuevo Laredo and stay at a small hotel in the Mexico side. We'd get up early in morning have breakfast of huevos rancheros and head to the mercado to shop till we dropped. Then in the early afternoon and we'd walk to "our" cantina "LA MINA" (yum the cold TECATE's w/Lime were perfect) Norm would head to a few street vendors to buy tacos de al pastor or hotdogs w/jalepenos and tomate. We'd relax at La Mina drinking and listening to Paulina Rubio, Thalia, and the Vega boys on the juke box, talking to fellow tourists or locals long after the sun went down. It was so much fun. I know she misses our trips.

Now all our "extra" income is going to the baby initiative. Having a child is my dream. Norm loves me and supports me but she really is doing all this for me. She has said that she thinks she's too old to have a child, but if this is my dream, she's going to be right behind me, doing what ever she can. I love her so much but it breaks my heart to know she's misses our "old" life...

Tonight we met in town for "happy hour" (which for me means 1/2 price appetizer's not margaritas $2.00). At dinner she looked into my eyes and said, "I want a baby. I want us to have our baby and I can't wait for it to happen. We are going to keep trying until it happens."....I pray that it really does.