Two more days till we test....not sure what to expect.
The first week went by really quick. We have been really busy at work. I had the chance to work some OT. Working 10.5 hr a day was hard. I'd be soo tired when I'd get home. I have about a 1 hr commute to and from work everyday, but since I was going in earlier and staying later I saved about 30 min a day..that was nice. We will also enjoy the small bonus check next month. I think most of my symptoms were side effects of the progesterone (tired, bloated, gassy) i also felt twinges on both sides.
Beginning Sunday night I began to feel like I'm going to or have started my period. I've been cramping all week. I've checked so many times and nothing. (this is a symptom I've never had before) Starting Monday, I began waking up at 2:00 am and am unable to go back to sleep until 3:30 or 4:00 am. (New symptom) My breasts have been tender from the inside but not the outside (make sense). However today my breasts are really sensitive to the touch I don't even want to take my bra off. ...Could this mean something?
You know it may mean nothing...my boobies have always been sensitive so maybe the meds are just making them super sensitive.
My BBT's have been in the low/mid 98.00's. This am my temp jumped .1 degrees to 98.5.
I'm already making plans for our course of action next month...this may be jinxing but I want to let myself believe that my time is NOT running out....that the money isn't running out. The financial cost of this experience has been a topic of discussion (arguments) more times that I'd like to admit. Norm is the person who mainly manages our finances. She is so worried and doesn't want us going into serious debt. We haven't maxed out credit cards but I'm halfway there with at least one...I think the biggest thing that has been hard is getting used not having all the extra spending money we used to have...Before TTC, we'd go out to happy hour, stop by Target, or go away for the weekend whenever we wanted. On many occasions we would pick up the bill for dinner w/our best friend couple R and F. And during the holidays we'd always buy three to four gifts each for our nieces and nephews....not any more.
Norm loves taking weekend trips (even if its just the Nuevo Laredo or maybe New Orleans). We used to take long weekend trips to Nuevo Laredo and stay at a small hotel in the Mexico side. We'd get up early in morning have breakfast of huevos rancheros and head to the mercado to shop till we dropped. Then in the early afternoon and we'd walk to "our" cantina "LA MINA" (yum the cold TECATE's w/Lime were perfect) Norm would head to a few street vendors to buy tacos de al pastor or hotdogs w/jalepenos and tomate. We'd relax at La Mina drinking and listening to Paulina Rubio, Thalia, and the Vega boys on the juke box, talking to fellow tourists or locals long after the sun went down. It was so much fun. I know she misses our trips.
Now all our "extra" income is going to the baby initiative. Having a child is my dream. Norm loves me and supports me but she really is doing all this for me. She has said that she thinks she's too old to have a child, but if this is my dream, she's going to be right behind me, doing what ever she can. I love her so much but it breaks my heart to know she's misses our "old" life...
Tonight we met in town for "happy hour" (which for me means 1/2 price appetizer's not margaritas $2.00). At dinner she looked into my eyes and said, "I want a baby. I want us to have our baby and I can't wait for it to happen. We are going to keep trying until it happens."....I pray that it really does.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
And TWW #3 begins
Woke up early this morning traveled into town to get 2nd insem this cycle.
I felt NO discomfort today. Yipee!! Our donor's count was 45 million w/50% motility..is that good?
Afterward we picked up my prescription for progesterone and came home. N's family came over for breakfast. We cooked Barbacoa last night in the slow cooker. We had tacos (corn tortillas) w/fresh guacamole and pico de gallo. And fresh fruit (watermelon and pineapple). Yum! I've read some blogs that mention eating fresh pineapple after insemination. Even though I'm not sure exactly how this helps I'm giving it a try. Only thing..I don't like how my lips and gum sting afterward. (ouch!). Company was great and everyone left about 1:30 p.m.
We haven't told anyone that we tried AGAIN this month...I just don't want to have to explain anything to anyone if it doesn't work...again.
After everybody left, N and I began to read the paper and watched some the the Olympics until we both fell asleep on the couch.
Watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics was so stunning and breathtaking...N and I were like kids at the circus...we kept oohing and ahhing at the amazing choreography and the lighting effects (too cool!). The different sequences one after the other were so incredible and just as I'd say out loud "This is my favorite performance." The next would begin and it'd be even better..If I had to choose the 2008 drummers sequence were my favorite...but the acrobats walking on the sphere were out of this world :-)! NBC too many commercials .....N and I were tearing up when Yao Ming walked w/the nine year old little boy who survived his school collapse in the earthquake. When I saw the boy I thought he can't be nine years old, look how tiny he is....then I thought...Oh wait he's walking next to Yao Ming...okay a full grown man would like nine year old next to Yao.....he is so TALL!!!
When I talked to D at acupuncture yesterday I mentioned how I cried when I heard the story of the nine year old boy saving himself and his two of his classmates and doing it because he was a hall monitor....D just said, "Well you know it was probably a lie." Chinese communist propaganda. Okay D, I accept your viewpoint but I believe and call me nieve...whatever..but i believe it was the truth....I do believe miracles can happen and with enough determination that sweet child was able to help himself and others. God bless that babe.
Well, here we are Sunday afternoon...tired and not looking forward to the work week. Norm just yelled,"Want some burnt popcorn w/kosher pickles!" I love that woman......
I felt NO discomfort today. Yipee!! Our donor's count was 45 million w/50% motility..is that good?
Afterward we picked up my prescription for progesterone and came home. N's family came over for breakfast. We cooked Barbacoa last night in the slow cooker. We had tacos (corn tortillas) w/fresh guacamole and pico de gallo. And fresh fruit (watermelon and pineapple). Yum! I've read some blogs that mention eating fresh pineapple after insemination. Even though I'm not sure exactly how this helps I'm giving it a try. Only thing..I don't like how my lips and gum sting afterward. (ouch!). Company was great and everyone left about 1:30 p.m.
We haven't told anyone that we tried AGAIN this month...I just don't want to have to explain anything to anyone if it doesn't work...again.
After everybody left, N and I began to read the paper and watched some the the Olympics until we both fell asleep on the couch.
Watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics was so stunning and breathtaking...N and I were like kids at the circus...we kept oohing and ahhing at the amazing choreography and the lighting effects (too cool!). The different sequences one after the other were so incredible and just as I'd say out loud "This is my favorite performance." The next would begin and it'd be even better..If I had to choose the 2008 drummers sequence were my favorite...but the acrobats walking on the sphere were out of this world :-)! NBC too many commercials .....N and I were tearing up when Yao Ming walked w/the nine year old little boy who survived his school collapse in the earthquake. When I saw the boy I thought he can't be nine years old, look how tiny he is....then I thought...Oh wait he's walking next to Yao Ming...okay a full grown man would like nine year old next to Yao.....he is so TALL!!!
When I talked to D at acupuncture yesterday I mentioned how I cried when I heard the story of the nine year old boy saving himself and his two of his classmates and doing it because he was a hall monitor....D just said, "Well you know it was probably a lie." Chinese communist propaganda. Okay D, I accept your viewpoint but I believe and call me nieve...whatever..but i believe it was the truth....I do believe miracles can happen and with enough determination that sweet child was able to help himself and others. God bless that babe.
Well, here we are Sunday afternoon...tired and not looking forward to the work week. Norm just yelled,"Want some burnt popcorn w/kosher pickles!" I love that woman......
Saturday, August 9, 2008
IUI# 3
Okay decided to give it another go....
Started Clomid (50mg) days 2 through 9. Went in for day 13 ultrasound (08-0708) and things looked okay (and mean okay).... I had three follies one left 20 mm, two right, 16 mm and 14 mm.....my lining was not as thick as it's been the past only at 9.5. So Dr. L put me on Estrogen for two days (one pill .626 mg twice a day)...Got the HCG shot 08-08-08 at 10 am...about 22 hrs later we did insemination #1 today (08-09-08). I was hoping that we'd inseminate on 08-08-08 (I need all the luck I can get). This one was the most uncomfortable so far....the pinching, clamping and poking sucked.....this month's bbt's have sucked just as bad...I'm been in the low 97's all week. Today was day 15 and my BBT this morning was 97.00. Not not mention, my CM was less this month....I finally noticed CM last night about 9 hrs after the HCG shot....(is that b/c of the shot?). Dr L said this morning that my CM looked fine...After she was done she left Norm and I in the office by ourselves....(She was on-call today and had to run back over to the hospital side to check on a patient)..it was pretty cool being in the office all alone...I joked w/N and asked if she wanted be my DR. ........(nothing happened but we had a good giggle about it)....
We will do our 2nd insemination tomorrow at 8:30......I'm excited...Dr L said that we may be having our procedure about the same time as another "girl couple"...so i guess pretending N's a DR is out the question for tomorrow (hee hee)......Once that's complete, I'll start the Progesterone (200 mg) that evening.
I mentioned to Dr L. that I'm worried about my ovulation. I've been using the OPK sticks a while now and have noticed a pattern.... I never really a have a strong LH surge. My ultrasounds have always shown good uterine lining and follies. But when exactly I ovulate has always been a mystery. I read how some women feel the ovulation. ...I've had pain in my ovaries usually a day after the HCG trigger.....this is ovulation pain? So I guess as long as I kept getting the trigger shot I should be okay? Dr. L is going to test my progesterone on CD 21 to check levels.
This is probably a good time to mention that Dr. L is my OB/GYN. (And I love her to death...she is so great and encouraging. She's always open to any questions/concerns I have..I'm so lucky to have her). But I'm not seeing a RE...we opted to go w/Dr. L b/c my primary care DR referred me to her...My primary care Dr had explained that Dr.L worked w/many same sex couples... N and I thought that seeing a RE would be too expensive, but as time goes by...I'm beginning to feel that maybe we should have found a RE before all this began.....I hate getting odd looks from the guys at TCRA when they ask so who's your Dr?....When I reply "Dr. L" I get the strange blank response of "Who's that?"......it makes me feel so stupid...like I don't know what I'm doing.......
.....the truth is I do feel like I don't know what I'm doing.....
Before we started TTC I read/heard stories about women who try try try and never get pregnant....and in the back of my mind i thought.."that's not me....I'll be okay."
Now IUI #3 ....I realize I'm not as exceptional as I thought.....
I wish I had loads of extra money lying around and didn't have to worry about how we going to pay for the next time...but i do...even now....I'm thinking "What about next month?"
This cycle is costing us a total of $1800.00 (not including medications).....I can't imagine how some couples pay this much and more every month.
one day at a time......one day at a time
Started Clomid (50mg) days 2 through 9. Went in for day 13 ultrasound (08-0708) and things looked okay (and mean okay).... I had three follies one left 20 mm, two right, 16 mm and 14 mm.....my lining was not as thick as it's been the past only at 9.5. So Dr. L put me on Estrogen for two days (one pill .626 mg twice a day)...Got the HCG shot 08-08-08 at 10 am...about 22 hrs later we did insemination #1 today (08-09-08). I was hoping that we'd inseminate on 08-08-08 (I need all the luck I can get). This one was the most uncomfortable so far....the pinching, clamping and poking sucked.....this month's bbt's have sucked just as bad...I'm been in the low 97's all week. Today was day 15 and my BBT this morning was 97.00. Not not mention, my CM was less this month....I finally noticed CM last night about 9 hrs after the HCG shot....(is that b/c of the shot?). Dr L said this morning that my CM looked fine...After she was done she left Norm and I in the office by ourselves....(She was on-call today and had to run back over to the hospital side to check on a patient)..it was pretty cool being in the office all alone...I joked w/N and asked if she wanted be my DR. ........(nothing happened but we had a good giggle about it)....
We will do our 2nd insemination tomorrow at 8:30......I'm excited...Dr L said that we may be having our procedure about the same time as another "girl couple"...so i guess pretending N's a DR is out the question for tomorrow (hee hee)......Once that's complete, I'll start the Progesterone (200 mg) that evening.
I mentioned to Dr L. that I'm worried about my ovulation. I've been using the OPK sticks a while now and have noticed a pattern.... I never really a have a strong LH surge. My ultrasounds have always shown good uterine lining and follies. But when exactly I ovulate has always been a mystery. I read how some women feel the ovulation. ...I've had pain in my ovaries usually a day after the HCG trigger.....this is ovulation pain? So I guess as long as I kept getting the trigger shot I should be okay? Dr. L is going to test my progesterone on CD 21 to check levels.
This is probably a good time to mention that Dr. L is my OB/GYN. (And I love her to death...she is so great and encouraging. She's always open to any questions/concerns I have..I'm so lucky to have her). But I'm not seeing a RE...we opted to go w/Dr. L b/c my primary care DR referred me to her...My primary care Dr had explained that Dr.L worked w/many same sex couples... N and I thought that seeing a RE would be too expensive, but as time goes by...I'm beginning to feel that maybe we should have found a RE before all this began.....I hate getting odd looks from the guys at TCRA when they ask so who's your Dr?....When I reply "Dr. L" I get the strange blank response of "Who's that?"......it makes me feel so stupid...like I don't know what I'm doing.......
.....the truth is I do feel like I don't know what I'm doing.....
Before we started TTC I read/heard stories about women who try try try and never get pregnant....and in the back of my mind i thought.."that's not me....I'll be okay."
Now IUI #3 ....I realize I'm not as exceptional as I thought.....
I wish I had loads of extra money lying around and didn't have to worry about how we going to pay for the next time...but i do...even now....I'm thinking "What about next month?"
This cycle is costing us a total of $1800.00 (not including medications).....I can't imagine how some couples pay this much and more every month.
one day at a time......one day at a time
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Am I out?
Took July off.....to get my FSH retested (it was a 8) ((like that means anything)) and to have an HSG test done....(ALL CLEAR)....my GOD did that *itch hurt!!! :-( at the beginning of the month I thought that sitting July out would be a good idea. But now I'm worried maybe I wasted the time....and the best part I turned 39....Ugh!!!!!!! I've been reading blogs and I've read how so many have done the HSG, Acupunture, Prenatals, ETC and it made no difference....is this me.?......why do so many have to get so hurt? I HATE THIS!!!!!
Now i'm waiting for my TIA to come for visit. I hope she comes in the next couple of days...
I bummed..I'm so scared to try again...i keep thinking "You're old...it's too late....you're too fat..." I'd love to hear from someone whose been where I am and made it. I can't seem to find many that have made it and were what I am...Oh yes...."ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE"....
My heart is sad for those tonight whose hopes for a BFP didn't happen this month...You guys are beautiful....so sweet..and optimistic..it's gonna happen to you....
Now i'm waiting for my TIA to come for visit. I hope she comes in the next couple of days...
I bummed..I'm so scared to try again...i keep thinking "You're old...it's too late....you're too fat..." I'd love to hear from someone whose been where I am and made it. I can't seem to find many that have made it and were what I am...Oh yes...."ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE"....
My heart is sad for those tonight whose hopes for a BFP didn't happen this month...You guys are beautiful....so sweet..and optimistic..it's gonna happen to you....
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Results IUI #2
Peed on a Stick this morning and it was negative.I really hoped the result would be different. I had some symptoms this month that I thought could be signs. Spotted on Sunday. Sore breasts (not nipples), cramping, slight nausea. Last night and this morning I'm seeing pink when I wipe..I am assuming that my period is right around the corner. My luteal phase temps were higher this month, they remained above 98 degrees for the entire 13 day period. This morning my temp fell to 97.8. When I count out the days when I expect my period to begin, my CD13/14/15 could fall on weekend so I am worried about additional costs if we try IUI for July. ..
Norm is concerned that we will be "wasting money" she feels that we should have the HSG test before we go any further. What do you think?
I'm in a dilemma I have 7 more sessions of acupuncture, (my last week is the 2nd week of AUG) so i feel this may be the last month of my best chance of trying to conceive.
I'm going to talk to my acupuncturist to see what they suggest as well.
I'm stuck at fork in the road and not sure what path to take......not to mention I turn 39 in a 1 1/2 weeks... :-(
Norm is concerned that we will be "wasting money" she feels that we should have the HSG test before we go any further. What do you think?
I'm in a dilemma I have 7 more sessions of acupuncture, (my last week is the 2nd week of AUG) so i feel this may be the last month of my best chance of trying to conceive.
I'm going to talk to my acupuncturist to see what they suggest as well.
I'm stuck at fork in the road and not sure what path to take......not to mention I turn 39 in a 1 1/2 weeks... :-(
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
IUI #2
Had sonogram #2 on the CD13 (06-11-08). Sonogram tech. found two follies, one 22 mm and one 14 1/2 mm. (So the Clomid helped!) The nurse called my Dr. to let her know and it was decided that we would do IUI #2 on CD14. I was little nervous because I've never ovulated that early. Spoke w/Dr. L. who said everything would be fine. So I got my HCG shot. And went home. That afternoon/night and next morning I felt no discomfort like the month before. Dr. L said that was fine.
N and I decided to inseminate only once this month. I beginning to wonder if maybe that was a mistake...On CD 14 I went in for the IUI and left feeling okay. On CD 15 I felt miserable all day. I am almost sure I ovulated on CD 15, (i had aches on both sides of my ovaries and was sore all day) It was so tough. I'm thinking that the discomfort was worse because of the CLOMID. Dr. L said that frozen swimmers can live anywhere between 24 to 72 hours post IUI.. I hope they made it....looking back I think it would have been a good idea if we had opted for a 2nd insemination. Again I was trying to "budget" for next time. I wish the "how are we going to pay for this" didn't weigh on my mind so much. But it does....On a brighter note....our specimen motility was 40 million. Woohoo!
I've been taking progesterone since the IUI and my BBT's have increased. A good thing. I'm trying not to obsess so much about early preg signs....because I know that they could be side effects of the progesterone.
We'll see what happens.
N and I decided to inseminate only once this month. I beginning to wonder if maybe that was a mistake...On CD 14 I went in for the IUI and left feeling okay. On CD 15 I felt miserable all day. I am almost sure I ovulated on CD 15, (i had aches on both sides of my ovaries and was sore all day) It was so tough. I'm thinking that the discomfort was worse because of the CLOMID. Dr. L said that frozen swimmers can live anywhere between 24 to 72 hours post IUI.. I hope they made it....looking back I think it would have been a good idea if we had opted for a 2nd insemination. Again I was trying to "budget" for next time. I wish the "how are we going to pay for this" didn't weigh on my mind so much. But it does....On a brighter note....our specimen motility was 40 million. Woohoo!
I've been taking progesterone since the IUI and my BBT's have increased. A good thing. I'm trying not to obsess so much about early preg signs....because I know that they could be side effects of the progesterone.
We'll see what happens.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
It was a Trial Run....
At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself...BFN.. Yup that what it was...I didn't even have to POS....my period came on the 14th day, Friday 053008. (damn Tia Flo) It was so painful...I spent the whole weekend couped up inside. N and I decided to keep going so here we are June'08 preparing for another IUI. This time I'm on a five day RX of 50 mg Clomid. Side effects: Bloated, slight headache from time to time, and feeling a little blue. But it's weird I'm not all emotional (ball of tears) i just at time feel indifferent ...(is this a bad sign?).
We will be placing our 2nd order or frozen swimmers...praying we have a good cycle.
I cancelled my acupuncture appt for today..and I'm feeling guilty...I did it b/c i want to "save" the visit for later. I paid for 6months of acupuncture..and my 6th month expires in July. I'm freaking out that I'm not going to get pregnant before my acu time runs out..Cant go down that path...need to stay positive. ....that's right stay positive...
The weekend wasn't a total wash...spent weekend re-watching the 6 seasons of Sex in the City....wanna get them all watched before I see the Movie.
So I'm planning on finishing season five and six this weekend. Yippee!
We will be placing our 2nd order or frozen swimmers...praying we have a good cycle.
I cancelled my acupuncture appt for today..and I'm feeling guilty...I did it b/c i want to "save" the visit for later. I paid for 6months of acupuncture..and my 6th month expires in July. I'm freaking out that I'm not going to get pregnant before my acu time runs out..Cant go down that path...need to stay positive. ....that's right stay positive...
The weekend wasn't a total wash...spent weekend re-watching the 6 seasons of Sex in the City....wanna get them all watched before I see the Movie.
So I'm planning on finishing season five and six this weekend. Yippee!
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