Two older hippos wanting a baby hippo

My boy is 14 months old

2010-07-27T20:02:00.007-05:00

I can't believe how fast time flies..

Roman started walking two weeks after his first birthday. I wish I had pictures of his first steps but I erased all his first birthday pictures, first haircut photos and first step pictures at my neices graduation on accident. Talk about drama for my mama. I cried all day. The thought brings a lump to my throat. I am glad that I was able to print a few pictures of Roman's birthday and first haircut. I placed them in a red photo album with his initial "R" on the front. I love that photo album of memories.

Roman's birthday party was very fun. We invited family and friends. Had a Toro pinata (Roman is Taurus) and a matching Toro birthday cake (Aunt Tina's present for Roman). And a pony. Roman rode on the pony about 6 times and smiled. My little cowboy.

Here a few pics taken before first bday and after

This picture was taken three weeks before his first birthday. The picture was in his Birthday invitation.

I had this picture of Roman's Toro pinata

Roman and Mama Norm vaccuming before Aunt Tina's 50th bday Party at our home. (he is 13 months in this pic.)

Outside today helping Momo Rodriguez w/her plants. He is also sporting a shorter summer cut that his Momo Saldana did for him this past weekend. My big boy is 14 months.

Snow Day in Hutto!!! Roman's First Snow

2010-02-23T21:42:00.005-06:00

Even though the pics don't look like it...Roman did like the snow..he caught a few on his long lashes. Norma and he got to taste a few snowflakes too.

His first Snowbaby

8 monts 1 week and 1 day.....OMG

2010-01-11T14:35:00.006-06:00

He growing.

Recap...
Roman began cereal & first baby food at 4 months. He loved all of them.
He began sitting up alone at about 5 to five months.

First Halloween costume (5 months):

First Thanksgiving (6 months):

First Christmas (7 months):

On his 8 month b-day he grabbed and self fed himself for the first time and also that week began his first steps of CRAWLING....Amazing

How quickly time flies.

2009-08-05T11:56:00.005-05:00

I can't believe that Roman is already 3 months old.
So much has happened since month one.

Recap:
June 26th- I woke up in the middle of the night in extreme pain...I thought I was having a heart attack. I woke up N who drove me to the hospital. I was hospitalized w/a gall stone and pancreatitis. I spent four days in the hospital and had my gall bladder removed. Dr gave my instructions not to pick up baby for the first week after surgery. So Momo (N's mom) came back to help us. It was so wonderful, Roman recognizes her voice and know she's his grandma. Momo stayed w/us two weeks after sugery went home for a week and 1/2 and them came back and stayed w/us til 073109. We miss her.

I celebrated my bday. I turned 40. N celebrated her bday. She turned 42.
Our bday's were pretty low key..we went to dinner. We decided not to buy each other gifts..Roman was the best day gift ever. I cheated though, she has been wanting a pair of Ray.ban aviator glasses..I finally got her a pair. (She looks "HOT" by the way).

Roman had his two month checkup and got his vaccinations. He developed a low grade fever and cried from the soreness in his legs. Poor baby...I cried just as much. I am so nervous about the next check up.

2 month check and shots: July 8, 2009

I like grape tylenol!

I like my bandaids

Roman had his first road trip..we went to Mama Ns hometown- Port Lavaca, Tx. He visited Momo and went to the beach. Roman didn't like being the carseat and had a breakdown or two on the way there and back. But he loved the water..(will post pics below)

First trip to the beach- July 18,2009

"I like the water!"

His head control is super duper and he is starting to laugh out loud and smiles all the time. His smile makes me melt. He has started drooling.. a lot. We have to keep a burpcloth or bib close to him b/c he dribbles on himself and all over us.

As of now he is up to 14 lbs 4 ounces and is ranging in the 75th percentile. (which is great). He was fussy and had a low grade fever Sunday and Monday of this week. I noticed that he wasn't himself. He was crying a lot and appeared to pulling on his left ear. Monday I decided to take him to his pediatrician. Ears looked fine..but Dr. noticed that his lower gums were very red..She thinks he is an early teether. OMG! She suggested that we get him the "raspberry" teether. It looks painful but she says it will help him. N also bought him the teeters you freeze. R likes those but his poor fingers get so cold...If we give him a frozen teether we hold it for him so his fingers stay warm.

5 week pics

2009-06-11T11:48:00.004-05:00

Roman sporting his Van outfit from Uncle Jesse and Aunt Velma

This is my tough guy look.

Roman 1 month old

2009-06-08T12:12:00.002-05:00

Things have been so crazy this first month. we have been adjusting to the lack of sleep and existing on Roman time. On average he eats about every three to four hours at the beginning he sleep in between feedings but in the last few weeks he is up for a large part of the day..which is great. Norm went back to work after one week at home..and her mom stayed w/us for the whole month of May which was such a blessing. But as of last Monday Norm and I have been on our own..and I think we are manageing well.

I tried breastfeeding Roman the first three weeks at home. There were always problems w/my milk supply and Roman not wanting to latch to my breast. It was just me trying to figure this out and I always felt like I was on my own. Norm many times after hearing Roman cry for so long would tell me to just give him a formula bottle and I always gave in. I know that's my number one mistake for breatfeeding no working. I feel like a failure for letting my baby down. My nipples no match when put to the test to easy to suck bottle nipples...of course Roman preferred those b/c he didn't have to wrk so hard to get a meal in. So his a formula baby now. And he is thriving. He is up to 10 lbs 13 ounces.

He is up from his nap..will write more later.

Here is a pic of him at one month

We did it..Roman

2009-05-07T18:03:00.003-05:00

Well, labor began Saturday afternoon about 4:00 pm. Norm and I stayed close to home the whole day..with the exception of getting some dinner and then heading to Diane's to see the Hatton/Pacquio fight..still can't believed that Hatton went down in the 2nd round..but i digress..Labored all night and early Sunday morning at home. A called Dr. L when they were 4 min apart. Arrived at hospital at 6:30 and Roman made his entrance in the our lives at 8:34 pm May 3, 2009. Roman weighed 8 lbs 4 ozs and was 20 1/2 inches long. We were released from hospital on May 5, 2009 (Cinco de Mayo). The on-call pedi was concerned that Roman tested in the high risk for jaundice and advised us to schedule a appt w/Roman pediatrician
ASAP. So on Wednesday, 05-06-09 we took him. The test results were in Wednesday pm and results were negative he is fine. Gracias a dios!! We are all doing super even though N and I are definitely running on less sleep.I plan on writing more about our birth experience later..but I wanted shout out that he is here..our little budbud is here!!!

I wanted to share some pics.

today was not the day....

2009-04-27T21:19:00.002-05:00

I called the Dr's office at 8:15 and was told to come in..at the office I was put up the a monitor that measured R's HB and my contractions. And yes the contractions were about every 7 to 9 min...some time every 5 min. After 1/2 hrs I had dilated from a 2 to a 3 so the Dr. C (sub for Dr L who had surgeries today) sent me the hospital. At the hospital Dr. L came in to check me...she agreed that I had was dilated and contracted but she was concerned that my cervix was still pretty "thick" and R was still at a -3.... I was feeling the contractions more (pain about 5-6)but as a contraction stopped I felt no pain. Dr L wanted to monitor me for a couple more hours and made plans to check me after her last surgery of the day. Two hr's later she came in and checked me again...still the same..cervix had not thinned out..at that point she gave the option of staying and giving me pitosin to induce or sending me home. N and I had discussed the possibility earlier and decided that we both want R to come when he is ready and it looked like today he was not. Dr. L std she agreed w/our choice.

So we are back at home waiting...my contractions have slowed down..but as Dr. L said things could change tonight or tomorrow. I know we made the right choice..but wish today had been the day.

N was wonderful at the hospital. She took such good care of me by making sure I was comfortable and taking care of myself. She helped through the uncomfortable contractions by timing them and reminding me to concentrate on my breathing. While at the hospital N's sister T came to give moral support. It was an eventful day..we shall see what up next.

39 wk 1 day..could this be it?

2009-04-27T07:56:00.003-05:00

Okay I was cramping all last night. The cramps (contractions?) I felt everytime I work up last night which seemed like every 1 hr to 1hr 1/2. I didnt get a good nights sleep..but that besides the point. These cramps feel worse when Im either sitting or laying down..so i'm trying to keep moving. On a scale of 1 to 10 the worst pain I've had has been about a 4 maybe a 5 (so not bad at all just uncomfortable) but I'm definitly getting some consistent cramping (front only) every 10 or 12 sometimes they come sooner. I'm not spotting nor do I have any discharge...i'm assuming that could be a good a thing. I'm going to call my Dr's office at 8:00.

Today would be an interesting day to have a baby. The weather forcast is no very good at all. This morning at 4:00 am, I awoke b/c i heard the power in the house go off. We have had severe thunderstorms w/lighting. I woke N and she got up to find the flashlight and weather radio. We didn't hear any warning of any tornados but stayed up a a while so see anything happened. We fell back asleep about 4:45 and the power came back on at 5:30. I turned the news on and learned the about 8 miles north of our home... a believed tornado went through the Jonah community at about 4:30 am...no one was hurt (thank god) but trees and homes were damaged.

We anticipate more bad weather for the rest of today into this evening.

I wanted to post this before the electricity goes out again. We have lost power twice since 6:00 am.

38 wks 5 days

2009-04-24T20:46:00.002-05:00

Had 38 week appt yesterday. Weight same, blood pressure good, no glucose/protein concerns..Roman's HB was 150.

I'm dilated 1 1/2 cm, still 50% effacced and -2.
My belly's is getting lower..and I'm tired. And Romans moving like he's going to pop out at any time. :-)

Norm has been washing clothes,organizing his room and getting the outside and inside of our home ready for Roman's homecoming. She is definitely "nesting" for me.

We are keeping our fingers crossed that Roman keeps cooking this weekend b/c Dr L is doing the Hill Country Aids ride this weekend and will not be available if i go into labor. Having her there is so important us. She has been there for us from the very beginning.

Tonight we stayed in just the three of us, N, R, and me. It has been so nice to be here at home just enjoying being together...I can't believe in a little more than one week Roman will really be here.

37 wk ob appt

2009-04-18T16:20:00.004-05:00

We had our 37 wk appt on Thurseday and finally got a 4d sono of Roman. I'm gonna try to see if I can post a pic of him.
At this point he is measuring right on track and they are estimating he is about 7 lbs 3 ounces. I was still 1 cm dilated/50% effaced/ -3....so it possible that I could make it to term and if that happens he could be between 8 to 9 lbs. (yippee) Norms thinks Im crazy to want... Just as long has he is healthy.

2009-04-18T16:20:00.001-05:00

37 1/2 weeks and counting

2009-04-15T19:59:00.003-05:00

Above of pics of Norma playing with the huge baby pacifier balloon from the shower and me at 37 1/2 weeks. :-)

We are still here waiting for Roman. Baby clothes have been washed, Norm's ordered new glasses to have while at the hospital, Roman's bag is packed and I am just about through packing my bag.

Norm'a mom and her aunt came for a visit last week, and will stay with us for another week. It's been nice having them here. I know it means a lot to Norm for her mom to be here especially since Wella's passing. I visited w/my nephews for Easter on Saturday..they are getting so big...I'm going to try to get a recent pic of them so that I can post it on the blog. They are so excited about the baby..they have asked if they can come over to help after Roman comes home from the hospital. I of course told them yes.

I'm really starting to feel tired. I'm getting the braxton hicks contractions more often, feeling a lot more pressure in the lower vajaja area, and I'm swollen like a big tomato.

I had my 2nd baby shower at work on 04-07-09, it was lovely. My co-workers are so sweet and thoughtful. We got so many clothes, blankets, shoes, gift cards and even a hand made wooden child size rocker w/Roman's name on it..it's adorable.

We tried for 3d sono number three and again had no luck...i think we have given up hope that of getting a 3d pic of him. I think we can wait another 18 days to find out. Here are the baby stats

04-09-09 O/B appt.
HB 142
Weight +3 ouch
Pressure# 122/78
Feet super swollen and the Heartburn is back...yuk!!!
1 cm dilated, 50% effaced, -3

Romans is moving a storm and feels so big in there..We have another appt. tomorrow w/a sono.

Below are some pictures of the sweet baby gifts we've gotten from our showers.

35 weeks and counting down

2009-04-01T15:23:00.003-05:00

The last five weeks have been very eventful.
Recap...Roman's is going right on track...his movements are so much more defined and at time uncomfortable. Gone are the days of flutter and now i have large sensations of twist and turns. The movements feel so big..it amazes me that the baby books says he weighs about 4/12 lbs right now..when it feels so much bigger. The last two ob visit registered his HB at 160 (32 week visit) and HB 142 at the (34 week visit). My blood pressure and protein check all looked great.

I've been sick w/allergies and a cough the last 4 weeks. Norm has about had it with my runny nose and the "honking" sounds I make when I blow...I finally went to the doctor yesterday and was diagnosed w/a sinus infection. So I'm on antibotic and taking a cough suppressant. I stayed home from wrk today b/c i was feeling so sick and achy..but I will be back tomoorrow. My goal it to work up until it's time...so I'm praying everthing wrks out that way.

Norm and I decided to have a 4d sono done of Roman...well after two tries so far we have had not luck to get a good look at our little guy...both times he has been facing my spine w/his head down. On the bright side, we've been told that this is th best position for a baby to be in...but it doesn't make for good pics. So far the only good pic we have of him is of his "package"...that we can see as clear as day. :-). I going in for a 3rd try on 04-09-09 at my 36 wk appt..plesae wish us luck.

We suffered a huge loss in our family. Norm's 83 yr old grandmother, Wella, died Sunday March 22. She had been ill so the family was preparing but really nothing prepares you for lossing someone you love so much. Norm lost her father at age 4 and her grandfather while she was still pretty young..so all her life she was raised by her mom and Wells. The family is going to miss Wella so much. She was the strong, firm, loving woman who welcomed and loved everyone that came into the family. Before she got ill she loved to relax a local cantina and have beer and grito. When Norma was young she would go w/Wella to the cantina and drink coke and eat chips while Wella visited w/friends for a bit. They never stayed long and we always home well before it got dark. This is a memory Norma cherishes b/c this was their time together. We love you Wella.

We had a baby shower this past Sat, March 28...it was so nice. We had considered postponing the shower due to Wella's passing but Norm did not want to reschedule. So after a long busy week..we had out baby shower. I'm hoping to post some pics if we can get a copy. We had about 30 plus people come over for games, food, margaritas, and fun. Norm sister, Dianne and family friend, Gloria did an amazing job of planning and preparing the food, and decorations for the event. We are so luck to have them in our lives. Roman is going to have some pretty amazing "Tia's"....It was a collaborative effort from all our family. Thank you guys for everything..we love more than words can say.

30 weeks!!!

2009-02-22T09:39:00.003-06:00

Today is Roman's b-day...he is 30wks today. :-) We are hopefull for a healthy safe delivery of our baby.

Recap of the last three weeks:
Caught a stomach bug from my nephew the first few days in feb...i missed two days of work, ran a fever and had bad stomach cramps/loose stools. I was freaking out because I had to break down and take medication. I kept talking to my doctor who assured me that Romy would be fine. Thank god I was sick for only two day. My nephews, poor babies, were sick for about 4-5 days each.

Took the Glucose test and failed the first test :-(...but passed the three hour test w/flying colors. Yippee..no diabetes!!!!

Our next plan to to schedule a 4D ultrasound for Romy. I'm hoping to get this done w/in the next few weeks.

My 7th months is progressing okay..I'm starting to notice more stuffy noses and my breaths are getting a little deeper. Sleeping at night continues to be a challenge..Norm's been so sweet. After 7yrs, she's given up her side of the bed so I can get some sleep at night. Thank you my love.

I also got the chance to experience caring for a newborn. I have never taken care of newborn (babies 3 plus months old..no problem have lots experience w/that) But I've never had the chance to care for a baby that small. Norm's niece Racquel had a baby boy on January 30th. Valentine's weekend Racquel asked us to babysit James while Racquel took her dtr to see Elmo. I was a bit nervous that day. Norm assured me that she would be here to help. It so happened that we were doing some home repairs that same weekend and Norm had to run to the store to get more supplies. So she left me alone w/James. I was a bit apprehensive but she told me not to worry b/c she be right back. Racquel had just left w/Khari to the show and she told me,
"Renie you'll be fine..he will probably sleep the whole time." ...well that didn't happen...not even five min. after they had left..he work up and started crying. Racquel had given me instructions if James cried he was either hungry, needed changing, or wanted to cuddled. First I checked his diaper and yes he was wet. So I got the supplies to change him. And followed the steps to get him a new clean diaper. (This was the first time I changed a baby boy w/circumcision) I was scared I would hurt him when i replaced the Vaseline coated gauze that covered his little penis..but he was fine. Once he had his new clean diaper on..he stopped crying. 10 min. later he began to whimper some..checked the diaper again..all clear...I noticed he was turning to side and opening his mouth..I place his paci near his check and he turned towards it...okay got it he was hungry..I put his bottle together and feed him....even got him to burp. By the time Norm got home..I had changed James two more times and had fed him. She was amazed I had done this all by myself. I was hooked. I recanted all the events that had transpired while she was at the store and picking up lunch for us. She looked at me and just smiled and said, "Lady your going to be a great mom." And when I heard those words from her mouth, at that moment I knew in my head and heart..that she was right.

Above is a pic of Khari and James.

So Romy...I love you my baby..and can't wait to meet you and make memories w/you. Happy birthday!

It's been a while...26 wks and counting

2009-01-25T14:11:00.004-06:00

I can't believe how fast time flies. I'm still pregnant and today I'm 26 weeks.
WOW!!!!! So far things are going okay. I've been told by Dr. L that my pregnancy so far has progressed really well. Next week I go in for my glucose screening and I'm hoping that everything will be okay. I have not had a lot of weird cravings. I think the weirdest thing I've eaten was spaghetti w/kosher pickles (which is delicious) and I'm eating a lot more cereal..in fact i have to mix my raisin bran/w rice crispies and Cheerios...it tastes great that way. As far as the weight gain..Ive gained 11 pounds far. At first you could tell i was pregnant but w/in the last weeks i think I'm starting to round out some. I hope to take some pics of belly in the next couple of day. Norm wants me to this so that we can have those pregnancy mementos. Physically the hardest thing is sleeping at night and getting out of bed in the morning. But once I'm up I'm ready to go.. :-)

Quick recap of some important events that have happened up to this point.
I told my parents we were pregnant in Oct. They were shocked and not happy. My mom especially. She told me she couldn't understand why I would make such a "selfish" decision. My mom and dad do not accept that I'm gay. My mom cites her nonacceptance of Norm and I's relationship on her religious (Catholic) beliefs that loving another person of the same sex is a "sin". So my parent's reaction was not a surprise..it of course still hurt. Gradually they are dealing with the fact that I'm pregnant and will be a mom. In early Nov things really blew up and I had the worst argument I've ever had w/my mom. It was first time I've ever told my mom that I am just as ashamed of her and her actions. I even told her that if she was not my mom, i would have nothing to do w/her also. I think it hurt her to have her hear those words from me. I always been the one my parents turn to when they need any kind of help w/family problems w/my brother and his kids. (that's a really long story..and someday i hope to be able to put those experiences in this blog). Any how we didn't speak for a few weeks and I almost didn't visit them for Thanksgiving..but I did visit them b/c my nephews \let me know they really wanted me there. In December a incident occurred between my parents and my brother. And my parents reached out to me in that moment. During that tough time my mom was calling me two to three times a day...and in a conversation I had w/her, my mom let me know that she was sorry for accusing me of being selfish. And told me that she knew in her heart that I and NORMA will make wonderful parents of our baby. I feel like this is a first step in moving forward. I pray everyday that in time, my parents will begin to accept Norm and I. I am however at peace w/myself. I am thrilled and grateful that God has given Norm and I this chance to be mommies. And we are planning on giving our baby all the love and support that he could ever need.

okay now lets talk about some positive news....
Well we've found out that it's a "boy"!!!! At first I was shocked/nervous and Norm's reaction was over the moon... Now I'm just as excited as she. When I first found out I was pregnant I imagined myself having a girl (doing her hair, dressing her in dresses) I even had dreams that I had a girl. Two of my closest friends told me they felt it was a girl. So was caught off guard when we were told it was a boy. We have decided on his first name "Roman"..and are still working on a middle name. I wanted to give him a name that represented Norms involvement. She didn't like Norman so we thought of scrambling the letter in her name and came up w/roman. She love it!!! I also considered Ian...which is the first initial of our name w/the a for "and"..Irene and Norma's baby..(Ian). I'd like for a middle name but we still have not decided.

All the test we've had so far indicate that Roman is healthy and growing right on schedule. We did, however, opt out of the amniocentesis...i was worried about miscarriage risks and we both decided that even if we are told that Roman is a Downs baby...we are still keeping him and loving him all the way.

We told other family members and they are all very excited and looking forward to meeting Roman...I wasn't expecting a baby shower...but i looks like I'll be having two..one at my office and another w/my friends and family.

Today we painted Romans room (w/Eco safe paint) and purchased his crib and changing table from babies r us...things are gradually coming to order.

Well I'll close for now...b/c Norms calling that she's hungry..

Above is pic of the baby bedding we chose for Roman's room. :-)

9 wks

2008-09-28T19:49:00.002-05:00

We are doing well. I had my first prenatal appt on 09-18-08. The litte one was measuring (is that right word) at about 7 wks 5 days. Dr L said that was very good and we got to hear the heart beat which was 158 beats per minute. Dr. L said that was excellent. I'm still having weekly acupuncture appts that I think has been helping me so much. I have had hard any morning sickness, and my fall allergies have been much much more bearable....I do feel bad for Norm. She has been getting pretty queasy on and off throughout the day. I've heard that the partners of a pregnant women can get PG symptoms but I never really believed that...I'm a believer now.
So far I've had sore boobs, lots of gas, and lots of feeling of bloated/fullness in my lower abdomen. And my clothes are starting to fit a little more snug.

Norm and I may have to pick a new OB dr. Dr. L is moving from the N. Austin office to the S. Austin office effective 11-01-08. She has told me that she'd love to keep seeing me. Norm and I love her so much. She's been such a huge part of me getting where I am today. My only concern is we leave in Hutto which is about 15 miles outside of N Austin. If I keep seeing Dr. Lockey it would take my about 50 minutes (w/out traffic) to get the S. Austin hospital she delivers at. I'm not sure if that's too far. Dr. L recommended a colleague of her's that I should see if i choose to keep in OB in the North side of town. She said he's very gay friendly, really down to earth, and well qualified (in fact he is the chief OB at the hospital he delivers at). Norm and I have three weeks to let her know...wish me luck...I'm trying not to stress about this but its really hard.

My next appt is 10-16-08. I am sending positive thoughts to everyone out there who is thinking of/ in the process of TTC's. Miracles do happen and will happen to you!

Blood work#2

2008-08-30T14:01:00.002-05:00

I went to blood drawn Thursday, 08-28-08. C (Dr. L's nurse) called me Friday w/results. My HCG is 576 so has a little more than doubled since Monday. Dr. L wants me to continue the progesterone. I was scheduled for my first OB appt on 09-18-08. I'm excited and nervous.

I haven't had any spotting, but I have had slight cramps on and off. Tuesday was really worried b/c I a pain on my lower left side (front & back). I kept thinking ectopic. N..keeps telling me to stop thinking negative but I can't help it. I know that my age and weight can affect my chances of having a healthy baby. My left side was sore for three day. I emailed Dr. L...who called me and said that it's normal to have cramping and aches b/c of the changes my body is going though. She std that when I have my first ultrasound they will check for cysts on my ovaries b/c it can happen b/c of the clomid. Friday I'd didnt feel anything. Today, I awoke feeling very bloated and slight aches that come and go back on both sides. As I sit here typing I feel a slight soreness on the lower left of my back. Maybe it's in my head..but I hope it is nothing serious. Maybe these are signs of just being preggo.

Well Norm went to the work at the UT football game. She wanted me to go w/her but I told her I wanted to stay home to clearn house and watch a movie I rented. So I'm alone this afternoon. I feels nice.

Blood work#1

2008-08-26T20:10:00.003-05:00

Went in Monday late afternoon to have my first blood work drawn. I left the office at 4:00 thinking I had til 5:00 to get there..(plenty of time I thought)..WRONG..Monday was first day back to school. Lovely summer traffic gone..cars were bumper to bumper. I called the Dr's office to find out what time lab closed..."4:30" I heard. Talk about freaking out, I knew there was no way I would get there in time. I called Norm's cell and told her I was stuck in traffic. Norm asked,"How far away are you". I replied, "About 30 mint." I suggested we meet at the PHO restaurant to have an early dinner and then call it a day. Norm yelled, "No way get you *ss here now." So, I put the pedal to the metal and zig zagged my way through traffic. I drove into the driveway of my DR's office at 4:27 pm. Norm was waiting at the front entrance for me. I stopped the car, jumped out, left the car running and ran inside. She had agreed to park the car. My doc's office is on the fourth floor. Luckily when hit the up button on the elevator doors opened immediately. I got off the elevator and ran to the docs office. The office clock said 4:27 (luck was definitely on my side). The front desk clerk was on the phone and she saw me gasping for air, pointing to the clock, mouthing the words "LAB". She didn't acknowledge me at first, but I kept pointing to the clock. Thank God she put the caller on hold, and asked "name...date of birth..who do you see...OK YOU'RE IN." I ran through the office doors to the lab.

My hands were shaking when I filled out the Lab sign-in sheet. The Lab tech saw me flushed and said "Don't worry, we're gonna see you". I let out a sigh of relief, got my blood drawn, and was out of there by 4:45 pm.

Dr. L called my this afternoon for the result:

<My progesterone is 27 (she said the was almost excellent) she wants me to still continue taking the supplement until at least I get the 2nd blood work results.
My HCG was 227 (since I have no test to compare..not sure if that's good yet).

I'm going back on Thursday for more blood work. I should know by Friday. Keeping positive that things will be fine.

IUI results

2008-08-24T16:10:00.003-05:00

I POAS on my equate stick this am and saw a VERY faint line. So Norm and I went to the store and purchased the Clearblue Easy Digital test. I came home went straight to the bathroom. I read the instuction real quick and grabbed my cup. I counted 20 seconds on my watch set the stick down and began finishing up when I looked done and saw the result "Pregnant"...it didn't even take the full 3 minutes..I started YELLING for N to come to the room. When she came in I told her, "LOOK...I just barely laid the stick down...LOOK what is says!!" She looked and her eyes got so big...she then went to tell our kitty kids that the result said pregnant.

I'm a little in shock...my mind is racing a mile a minute...is this for reall..but I didn't have implantation spotting..is this a bad sign? I'm going to email Dr L and call her office tomorrow to get appt for bloodwork..I'm keeping positive that everything will be fine.

Thank you so much for the well wishes and postive thoughts...it means so much! :-)!

two days till poas

2008-08-22T20:03:00.003-05:00

Two more days till we test....not sure what to expect.

The first week went by really quick. We have been really busy at work. I had the chance to work some OT. Working 10.5 hr a day was hard. I'd be soo tired when I'd get home. I have about a 1 hr commute to and from work everyday, but since I was going in earlier and staying later I saved about 30 min a day..that was nice. We will also enjoy the small bonus check next month. I think most of my symptoms were side effects of the progesterone (tired, bloated, gassy) i also felt twinges on both sides.

Beginning Sunday night I began to feel like I'm going to or have started my period. I've been cramping all week. I've checked so many times and nothing. (this is a symptom I've never had before) Starting Monday, I began waking up at 2:00 am and am unable to go back to sleep until 3:30 or 4:00 am. (New symptom) My breasts have been tender from the inside but not the outside (make sense). However today my breasts are really sensitive to the touch I don't even want to take my bra off. ...Could this mean something?

You know it may mean nothing...my boobies have always been sensitive so maybe the meds are just making them super sensitive.

My BBT's have been in the low/mid 98.00's. This am my temp jumped .1 degrees to 98.5.

I'm already making plans for our course of action next month...this may be jinxing but I want to let myself believe that my time is NOT running out....that the money isn't running out. The financial cost of this experience has been a topic of discussion (arguments) more times that I'd like to admit. Norm is the person who mainly manages our finances. She is so worried and doesn't want us going into serious debt. We haven't maxed out credit cards but I'm halfway there with at least one...I think the biggest thing that has been hard is getting used not having all the extra spending money we used to have...Before TTC, we'd go out to happy hour, stop by Target, or go away for the weekend whenever we wanted. On many occasions we would pick up the bill for dinner w/our best friend couple R and F. And during the holidays we'd always buy three to four gifts each for our nieces and nephews....not any more.

Norm loves taking weekend trips (even if its just the Nuevo Laredo or maybe New Orleans). We used to take long weekend trips to Nuevo Laredo and stay at a small hotel in the Mexico side. We'd get up early in morning have breakfast of huevos rancheros and head to the mercado to shop till we dropped. Then in the early afternoon and we'd walk to "our" cantina "LA MINA" (yum the cold TECATE's w/Lime were perfect) Norm would head to a few street vendors to buy tacos de al pastor or hotdogs w/jalepenos and tomate. We'd relax at La Mina drinking and listening to Paulina Rubio, Thalia, and the Vega boys on the juke box, talking to fellow tourists or locals long after the sun went down. It was so much fun. I know she misses our trips.

Now all our "extra" income is going to the baby initiative. Having a child is my dream. Norm loves me and supports me but she really is doing all this for me. She has said that she thinks she's too old to have a child, but if this is my dream, she's going to be right behind me, doing what ever she can. I love her so much but it breaks my heart to know she's misses our "old" life...

Tonight we met in town for "happy hour" (which for me means 1/2 price appetizer's not margaritas $2.00). At dinner she looked into my eyes and said, "I want a baby. I want us to have our baby and I can't wait for it to happen. We are going to keep trying until it happens."....I pray that it really does.

And TWW #3 begins

2008-08-10T18:08:00.003-05:00

Woke up early this morning traveled into town to get 2nd insem this cycle.
I felt NO discomfort today. Yipee!! Our donor's count was 45 million w/50% motility..is that good?

Afterward we picked up my prescription for progesterone and came home. N's family came over for breakfast. We cooked Barbacoa last night in the slow cooker. We had tacos (corn tortillas) w/fresh guacamole and pico de gallo. And fresh fruit (watermelon and pineapple). Yum! I've read some blogs that mention eating fresh pineapple after insemination. Even though I'm not sure exactly how this helps I'm giving it a try. Only thing..I don't like how my lips and gum sting afterward. (ouch!). Company was great and everyone left about 1:30 p.m.
We haven't told anyone that we tried AGAIN this month...I just don't want to have to explain anything to anyone if it doesn't work...again.

After everybody left, N and I began to read the paper and watched some the the Olympics until we both fell asleep on the couch.

Watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics was so stunning and breathtaking...N and I were like kids at the circus...we kept oohing and ahhing at the amazing choreography and the lighting effects (too cool!). The different sequences one after the other were so incredible and just as I'd say out loud "This is my favorite performance." The next would begin and it'd be even better..If I had to choose the 2008 drummers sequence were my favorite...but the acrobats walking on the sphere were out of this world :-)! NBC too many commercials .....N and I were tearing up when Yao Ming walked w/the nine year old little boy who survived his school collapse in the earthquake. When I saw the boy I thought he can't be nine years old, look how tiny he is....then I thought...Oh wait he's walking next to Yao Ming...okay a full grown man would like nine year old next to Yao.....he is so TALL!!!

When I talked to D at acupuncture yesterday I mentioned how I cried when I heard the story of the nine year old boy saving himself and his two of his classmates and doing it because he was a hall monitor....D just said, "Well you know it was probably a lie." Chinese communist propaganda. Okay D, I accept your viewpoint but I believe and call me nieve...whatever..but i believe it was the truth....I do believe miracles can happen and with enough determination that sweet child was able to help himself and others. God bless that babe.

Well, here we are Sunday afternoon...tired and not looking forward to the work week. Norm just yelled,"Want some burnt popcorn w/kosher pickles!" I love that woman......

IUI# 3

2008-08-09T22:21:00.005-05:00

Okay decided to give it another go....
Started Clomid (50mg) days 2 through 9. Went in for day 13 ultrasound (08-0708) and things looked okay (and mean okay).... I had three follies one left 20 mm, two right, 16 mm and 14 mm.....my lining was not as thick as it's been the past only at 9.5. So Dr. L put me on Estrogen for two days (one pill .626 mg twice a day)...Got the HCG shot 08-08-08 at 10 am...about 22 hrs later we did insemination #1 today (08-09-08). I was hoping that we'd inseminate on 08-08-08 (I need all the luck I can get). This one was the most uncomfortable so far....the pinching, clamping and poking sucked.....this month's bbt's have sucked just as bad...I'm been in the low 97's all week. Today was day 15 and my BBT this morning was 97.00. Not not mention, my CM was less this month....I finally noticed CM last night about 9 hrs after the HCG shot....(is that b/c of the shot?). Dr L said this morning that my CM looked fine...After she was done she left Norm and I in the office by ourselves....(She was on-call today and had to run back over to the hospital side to check on a patient)..it was pretty cool being in the office all alone...I joked w/N and asked if she wanted be my DR. ........(nothing happened but we had a good giggle about it)....

We will do our 2nd insemination tomorrow at 8:30......I'm excited...Dr L said that we may be having our procedure about the same time as another "girl couple"...so i guess pretending N's a DR is out the question for tomorrow (hee hee)......Once that's complete, I'll start the Progesterone (200 mg) that evening.

I mentioned to Dr L. that I'm worried about my ovulation. I've been using the OPK sticks a while now and have noticed a pattern.... I never really a have a strong LH surge. My ultrasounds have always shown good uterine lining and follies. But when exactly I ovulate has always been a mystery. I read how some women feel the ovulation. ...I've had pain in my ovaries usually a day after the HCG trigger.....this is ovulation pain? So I guess as long as I kept getting the trigger shot I should be okay? Dr. L is going to test my progesterone on CD 21 to check levels.

This is probably a good time to mention that Dr. L is my OB/GYN. (And I love her to death...she is so great and encouraging. She's always open to any questions/concerns I have..I'm so lucky to have her). But I'm not seeing a RE...we opted to go w/Dr. L b/c my primary care DR referred me to her...My primary care Dr had explained that Dr.L worked w/many same sex couples... N and I thought that seeing a RE would be too expensive, but as time goes by...I'm beginning to feel that maybe we should have found a RE before all this began.....I hate getting odd looks from the guys at TCRA when they ask so who's your Dr?....When I reply "Dr. L" I get the strange blank response of "Who's that?"......it makes me feel so stupid...like I don't know what I'm doing.......
.....the truth is I do feel like I don't know what I'm doing.....

Before we started TTC I read/heard stories about women who try try try and never get pregnant....and in the back of my mind i thought.."that's not me....I'll be okay."
Now IUI #3 ....I realize I'm not as exceptional as I thought.....
I wish I had loads of extra money lying around and didn't have to worry about how we going to pay for the next time...but i do...even now....I'm thinking "What about next month?"

This cycle is costing us a total of $1800.00 (not including medications).....I can't imagine how some couples pay this much and more every month.

one day at a time......one day at a time

Am I out?

2008-07-24T21:33:00.003-05:00

Took July off.....to get my FSH retested (it was a 8) ((like that means anything)) and to have an HSG test done....(ALL CLEAR)....my GOD did that *itch hurt!!! :-( at the beginning of the month I thought that sitting July out would be a good idea. But now I'm worried maybe I wasted the time....and the best part I turned 39....Ugh!!!!!!! I've been reading blogs and I've read how so many have done the HSG, Acupunture, Prenatals, ETC and it made no difference....is this me.?......why do so many have to get so hurt? I HATE THIS!!!!!

Now i'm waiting for my TIA to come for visit. I hope she comes in the next couple of days...

I bummed..I'm so scared to try again...i keep thinking "You're old...it's too late....you're too fat..." I'd love to hear from someone whose been where I am and made it. I can't seem to find many that have made it and were what I am...Oh yes...."ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE"....

My heart is sad for those tonight whose hopes for a BFP didn't happen this month...You guys are beautiful....so sweet..and optimistic..it's gonna happen to you....

Results IUI #2

2008-06-26T07:52:00.003-05:00

Peed on a Stick this morning and it was negative.I really hoped the result would be different. I had some symptoms this month that I thought could be signs. Spotted on Sunday. Sore breasts (not nipples), cramping, slight nausea. Last night and this morning I'm seeing pink when I wipe..I am assuming that my period is right around the corner. My luteal phase temps were higher this month, they remained above 98 degrees for the entire 13 day period. This morning my temp fell to 97.8. When I count out the days when I expect my period to begin, my CD13/14/15 could fall on weekend so I am worried about additional costs if we try IUI for July. ..

Norm is concerned that we will be "wasting money" she feels that we should have the HSG test before we go any further. What do you think?

I'm in a dilemma I have 7 more sessions of acupuncture, (my last week is the 2nd week of AUG) so i feel this may be the last month of my best chance of trying to conceive.

I'm going to talk to my acupuncturist to see what they suggest as well.

I'm stuck at fork in the road and not sure what path to take......not to mention I turn 39 in a 1 1/2 weeks... :-(

IUI #2

2008-06-17T21:27:00.002-05:00

Had sonogram #2 on the CD13 (06-11-08). Sonogram tech. found two follies, one 22 mm and one 14 1/2 mm. (So the Clomid helped!) The nurse called my Dr. to let her know and it was decided that we would do IUI #2 on CD14. I was little nervous because I've never ovulated that early. Spoke w/Dr. L. who said everything would be fine. So I got my HCG shot. And went home. That afternoon/night and next morning I felt no discomfort like the month before. Dr. L said that was fine.

N and I decided to inseminate only once this month. I beginning to wonder if maybe that was a mistake...On CD 14 I went in for the IUI and left feeling okay. On CD 15 I felt miserable all day. I am almost sure I ovulated on CD 15, (i had aches on both sides of my ovaries and was sore all day) It was so tough. I'm thinking that the discomfort was worse because of the CLOMID. Dr. L said that frozen swimmers can live anywhere between 24 to 72 hours post IUI.. I hope they made it....looking back I think it would have been a good idea if we had opted for a 2nd insemination. Again I was trying to "budget" for next time. I wish the "how are we going to pay for this" didn't weigh on my mind so much. But it does....On a brighter note....our specimen motility was 40 million. Woohoo!

I've been taking progesterone since the IUI and my BBT's have increased. A good thing. I'm trying not to obsess so much about early preg signs....because I know that they could be side effects of the progesterone.
We'll see what happens.

It was a Trial Run....

2008-06-05T20:35:00.005-05:00

At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself...BFN.. Yup that what it was...I didn't even have to POS....my period came on the 14th day, Friday 053008. (damn Tia Flo) It was so painful...I spent the whole weekend couped up inside. N and I decided to keep going so here we are June'08 preparing for another IUI. This time I'm on a five day RX of 50 mg Clomid. Side effects: Bloated, slight headache from time to time, and feeling a little blue. But it's weird I'm not all emotional (ball of tears) i just at time feel indifferent ...(is this a bad sign?).
We will be placing our 2nd order or frozen swimmers...praying we have a good cycle.
I cancelled my acupuncture appt for today..and I'm feeling guilty...I did it b/c i want to "save" the visit for later. I paid for 6months of acupuncture..and my 6th month expires in July. I'm freaking out that I'm not going to get pregnant before my acu time runs out..Cant go down that path...need to stay positive. ....that's right stay positive...

The weekend wasn't a total wash...spent weekend re-watching the 6 seasons of Sex in the City....wanna get them all watched before I see the Movie.
So I'm planning on finishing season five and six this weekend. Yippee!

Almost over....

2008-05-29T21:03:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm scheduled to take the pregnancy test tomorrow. But I know the results will be BFN...my BBT's dropped like three days ago. Memorial Day was fantastic.. i woke up to the BIG 98.6....my day was fantastic!..I spent the day thinking maybe this could really be happening to me. But Tues my BBT fell to 97.8, Wed 97.7, and today Thurs, 97.4.....My friend Ivonne reminded me that this was like a "trial run". Fact remains that it still hurts. I emailed my doc to see when I can get off the progesterone so AF can come to visit. Our plans are to try again June and this time take clomid. I'm nervous because I'm not sure what to expect. Any advice on how to get through this?

Yesterday, I was feeling so upset and disappointed during my drive to work. I kept thinking, Why do I have to go to work and how am I going to put on my "happy face". Well I got to work early and had time to go on-line to read a couple of posts. I found this wonderful entry by someone also trying to conceive and reading it made me laugh. The post helped me through the day without balling my eyes out at work. My experience this month will only make me/us stronger for next time. ....Thank you Carrie.

TWW

2008-05-25T08:24:00.004-05:00

Okay, I'm 1/2 way through two week wait. Trying not to read too much into my symptoms is next to impossible. N keeps telling me to stop b/c I'm gonna stress myself out. She's right, but easier said than done. I'm taking a progesterone supplement, taking a pre-natal vitamin, and keeping up w/acupuncture (my wonderful stress reliever).

The beginning of Week 1 was tough, my side effects from the progesterone were tough...got tired,nauseous, bloating, dizzy, moody, ... I felt really bad. Also throughout the week I felt a lot of minor aches about my ovaries area. Especially the left side. Now, when I had my sonogram before the IUI, my left ovary was so small the nurse didn't even bother measuring it..so I'm not sure why it ached so much? But my symptoms cleared up by Friday. As of now I'm mainly very bloated. My BBT's right after the IUI jumped from 97.5/97.7 to 98.1. But they have stayed steady ranging from 98.0 to 98.2..This morning my BBT increased to 98.3...I hope that's a sign...and they continue to go up.

(Warning..next part mentions bodily functions... please I don't want to offend anyone...but it's an out the ordinary symptom).

Last night N, N's family and I went to a festival in Round Rock to see hear some Tejano music! For lunch I had Greek (lamb gyro, hummus and dolma's) Yummy!!!! After lunch I got bad heartburn and gas (Since starting acupuncture and altering my diet I haven't had heartburn like that in a long long while.). I went home, took a nap, and hoped that I would feel better by the evening. We arrived at the festival about 8:00 pm and picked a nice spot not too close to the stage to set up our chairs. Everyone (except me) gets beer and something to eat. I'm worried about my heartburn so opt to wait to eat. I got my water, sat down and felt myself wanting to toot...I freak out because I'm worried that there will be an unpleasant smell. So I slowing try to let one out but of course I'm GASSY so I chorus some out...I look around and ...NO REACTION from anyone (either in my group or people sitting near by). Everyone is still having a good time. I lean over and ask N, "Did you smell anything?" She replies, "No...why?"....I then whisper, "I'm gassy." She looks at me weird and says, "Don't worry about it"...So the whole night as everyone enjoyed the music and food...I enjoyed myself to water and much needed "relief"...and no one noticed :-) ......thank goodness it was not smelly...

About Me

2008-05-18T19:19:00.008-05:00

Let's see where to begin.

Who am I?

I am 38 living in the suburbs outside Austin And for the past 5 1/2 years I've been sharing my life with wonderful person (Norma). We were friends before we got involved. (You know the usual Telenovela drama, I was with someone and she was with someone when we met). But when it was all said and done, we found each other and have been together every single day since. I can't believe I've been blessed enough to find someone who loves me for me. As a kid, I used to dream about finding love and having a family. Well the LOVE part FINALLY came along when I was 33. However, the family part has taken longer than I ever thought it would.

Norm and I have been talking about having a baby since the first month of our relationship. But we got more serious about 10 months ago. That's when i made the appt w/my gyno to get the FSH test and info on artificial insemination. I started charting my BBTs, and noticed my temps were super extreme. A great friend of mine (who is now pregnant after having a pretty tough time of her own) encouraged me to consider Acupuncture treatment for help.

In February 2008 I began a 6 month acupuncture treatment with The Texas Center for Reproductive Acupuncture. The Acupuncture program included twice a week visits for the first three months. And weekly visits beginning the 4th month. TCRA has helped w/nutritional counseling, daily herbs and vitamins. I also started exercising. I can't even tell you how amazing it has been. Every one at the TCRA are fantastic and sososo supportive. I'm sure you can tell by my photo that I'm a full figured women. Acupuncture has helped me better my daily habits (on eating, exercising, handling stress) all with the intent to improve my health and to improve my BBT's. Since starting acupuncture I've lost about 16 lbs!. My follicular phase temps are right on...the luteal phase temps have improved but still need some work.

We'll May 08 we felt we were ready to try our first IUI. We are using a anonymous sperm donor from the Cali cyrobank. On May 15th and 16th we had our first IUI's. Day 1 of the IUI was a lot more "uncomfortable" I had a little bit of bleeding during the procedure and felt a little bit of aching afterwords. Day 2 of the IUI was fantastic (NO discomfort). OUR donor sperm count was 74 million! I really hope that everything works out this month. (BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET MY HOPES UP) I did not use any meds during the follicular phase. But I did get a HCG shot day before the IUI. And I'm taking a progesterone supplement now.

We considered a fresh donor, but for now, we think a donor from the cryobank is best. (No worries about all the legal stuff).

Why I created a blog?

Well, Norm pushed me to finally do this. I have never blogged or done anything like this. I have been reading so many blogs by other women (straight/gay/married/single) for the last months (BELIEVE ME NORM can vouch for me....every night at about 10:00 pm i hear her yelling for me from across the house to "COME TO BED....YOU HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW" or else I hear "YOU ON THE COMPUTER AGAIN"). You all have helped me feel like I'm not alone. And you've also helped educate me on what to do/expect/ask in this process of trying to conceive the precious gift of a son or daughter. I do not have many friends or family that I can talk to about the process/challenges of TTC. I admire you all so much. You all are the most courageous people I ever had the chance to "get to know". By sharing your lives in this format, you are all making a difference in some one's life. You have made a difference to me. What you share is truly a selfless gift. Thank you.